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September 2012

I LOVE YOU… GOODBYE

Wednesday, September 26, 2012 Category : , , , 1


SUMMARY

Parents play a very important role in a child’s life. They are the source of wisdom and examples during the formative years of the children. Parents are expected to take good care of their children until they grow old, but sometimes fate intervenes and death occurs in the family. Parent’s death triggers a child to feel being left alone. Thus, they struggle for acceptance and deny the fact that they can no longer be with their parents.

The study aimed to determine and discover the effects of parental death in terms of emotional, physiological, social and physical and how these children cope up with it.

Under the case analysis, quantitative data was gathered through the questionnaire. Another kind of data used in this study is qualitative data which was gathered through the case study, participant observation method and the interview technique. These data gathered led the researcher to make a conclusion regarding the study which will then result to a proposed program as an output of the study.

FINDINGS

Based on the data gathered, the researcher has come up with the following:

1. Parental loss:
     (1.1) The first respondent got indirect information because what happen to her father was not revealed to her right then.
     (1.2) The second respondent got informed directly about the death of his mother.

2. Effects of parental loss:
     (2.1) Emotional: The respondents experienced intense grief and sadness, anger, blaming, denial, depression, anxiety, rebellion, and guilt.
     (2.2) Physiological: The respondent had preoccupation of thoughts about the death of the significant people in their life.
     (2.3) Social: One of the subjects has a strange relationship with her mother, she blames her mother. She became less active in school and experienced withdrawal from her peers. She was attention-seeking and her academic performance declined. The second respondent also experienced social withdrawal and that the death of his mother led him to become more mature thus, he can no longer relate to his classmates.
     (2.4) Physical: The respondent’s physical reaction included inability to sleep, loss of appetite, stomach upset, and fatigue.

3. Coping or defense mechanism:
     (3.1) Denial: It was found out that the respondents in this study chose denial as their coping mechanism for the loss of a love one.
     (3.2) Acceptance: The respondents in the study went through a lot of struggles as they experienced the loss but later on accepted the reality that they have to move on and let go of the memories of the deceased person.

PROPOSED PROGRAM

A Step of Moving On – The proposed program is composed of three modules namely Let’s Talk Awhile, Role-playing, and Spend Time with Me. The program is designed to meet the needs of the children and for the immediate family to accept reality and be able to move on with their life.

CONCLUSIONS

After a thorough investigation and assessment, the researcher concludes the following:

When a child experiences a sudden death of a parent, the child undergoes stages of grief and coping. This includes shock, the stage where children have a hard time dealing with the fact that their parents have died.

Children show signs of physical, emotional, physiological, and social disturbances which include inability to sleep, anxieties, social withdrawal, and preoccupation of thoughts about the death of his or her parents.

The last stage is gradual reawakening where children gradually readjust their lives and learn to live and enjoy most aspects of life without the deceased parent. The respondents in this study have not yet reached this stage.

RECOMMENDATIONS

Based on the findings and conclusions made, the researcher advances the following recommendations:

  1. The researcher highly recommends the implementation of the proposed Recovery Program which could help them cope up with their situations and for them to understand and realize the real essence of life and the great role of death in the life cycle in maintaining the balance of mankind.
  2. That the child should learn how to be open to other family members in order to avoid gap.
  3. A great deal of support must be given to the affected child by his immediate family in order to handle the loss easily.
  4. The guidance counselor should monitor children who are experiencing parental death in order to help them develop a positive view in life in order to move on.
  5. That the public, who also once experienced death of parents, offer their full support and help the immediate family of the child.


MISS SPOOGE

Tuesday, September 18, 2012 Category : , , , 0


SUMMARY

Many women are inspired to join beauty contests just because of the benefits they may gain. Some benefits would include prizes that the contestant may win. Other contestants feel satisfied because of the exposure they experience during the contest, plus the appreciation and applause they receive from the audience. For those who win, recognition, fame, and confidence will be achieved. But it cannot be denied that some fail, and yet they still continue joining such contests. These things lead women in ascertaining their dreams to become a beauty queen. It could be that women are motivated for their personal interest or it could be due to a social factor such as parents or friends.

This study aimed to know the motivating factors and effects of failure on young women who are fond of joining beauty contests. This study hoped to design a Self-Presentation Program.

FINDINGS

Based on the data, the researchers came up with the following:

1. Profile of Miss Spooge women – The age of the respondents ranged from 16-22 years old. Three respondents are still in college, one stopped studying, and the other one is high school. All respondents came from different countries. The age of the respondents when they started joined beauty contests ranged from 15-17 years old. All the respondents lost in the contest 3-5 times and joined beauty contests 5-8 times.

2. Motivational Factors

Personal – Young women were motivated to join beauty contests for they believed that beauty contests can help them claim fame and glory. They also perceived that entering in the world of pageants is a way to improve and gain self-confidence. Personally, they were interested in joining beauty contests because of the benefits they gained like money, fame, exposure, experience, sponsorships, and confidence. As a matter of fact, some of them dreamed to become a beauty queen when they were still children. 

Social – Three of the respondents were influenced by their family and relatives who were fond of watching and joining beauty contests. The three respondents came from a family of beauty titlists. They were influenced by their aunt and gay brother. All respondents have gay friends and peers that were interested and active in joining beauty contest. Their encouragement and support motivated them in joining the said contests again and again.

3. Self-Concept – All respondents had negative self-statements about themselves every time they lost in the beauty contests but still they had self-esteem. As a consequence, their value, self-worth, and respect for themselves were increasing. All respondents had strong interpersonal skills.

4. Coping Mechanism – Most of the respondents used coping mechanisms of social support coping through the help of their families and friends. But at times, when they did not cope with problems adaptively, they used defense mechanisms like identification and rationalization. This also helped them enhance their self-worth and protected them from sense of failure and aided them in softening the blow connected with their disappointments about their defeats in the beauty contests.

5. Effects – Though they had negative self-statements about themselves on their failures in the beauty contests still there are nice effects and these are as follows: they gained more self-confidence, grasped a strong fighting spirit, and achieved more trust in themselves. Their defeat in the beauty contests was like a challenge for them to join again.

PROPOSED SELF-PRESENTATION PROGRAM

Module 1: “Getting to know thy selves”
One way of knowing ourselves better is through self-disclosure. Self-disclosure involves sharing information about the self and participants’ views, feelings and perceptions or intentions. It breaks down facades, allows personal contacts, and enhances self-esteem.

Module 2: “Enhancing Self-Esteem”
This suggests how the participants improve their self-concepts. They will reveal their positive and negative self statements.

Module 3: “Achieving Strong Family Ties”
This activity is intended for dysfunctional families to enrich their relationships with one another to improve strong family ties. Through family open communication, family conflicts may heal.

Module 4: “English Speech Enhancement”
One way of helping the participants in presenting themselves confidently on stage is through teaching them the right pronunciation of words. If one enunciates properly, the result is that it helps build inner peace and create self-confidence.

Module 5: “Personality Enhancement”
First impressions are often lasting ones and the first impressions do take everything in – the shape, the way you stand, walk, dress, and the way you use your hands. Thus, we inculcate the etiquette of bearing dresses and social graces to the minds and the hearts of the participants.

CONCLUSIONS

Young women are motivated to join beauty contests for their strong desire to have money on their own and for the enjoyment and the confidence they may gain. Thus, the factors that influenced them can be traced to their family upbringing and friends.

The respondents felt bad about themselves every time they lost in the beauty contests and had negative self statements but despite this, they still had respect and still felt important. Moreover, they had self-esteem and self-confidence.

The respondents used social support coping mechanisms through the help of their families and friends. At times they used rationalization and identification. Their being “Spooge” in the beauty contests had positive effects; they gained more self-confidence and had strong fighting spirits.

RECOMMENDATIONS

Based on the findings and conclusions made, the researchers advance the following recommendations:

  1. That the proposed Self-Presentations Program be implemented.
  2. That young women must develop their reading skills not just to gather more information but also to be equipped with the knowledge on how to answer questions during the pageant.
  3. That the government agencies impose a variety of livelihood projects to the parents who always depend on their daughters’ joining beauty pageants as a way of gaining money.


MADONNA’S WINDOW

Tuesday, September 11, 2012 Category : , , , 0


SUMMARY

The word “mother” has been universally interpreted as love and care. Mothers have been our primary model for good values, to give comfort, love, and care for others. But, what if the primary model itself is involved with cybersex, the modernized prostitution? What could be the lurking urges behind their comforting façade?

Cybersex, which is any form of sexual expression accessed through the computer or the internet, is now a major industry. Many people allow themselves to engage in sexual behaviors online (cybersex with adolescents or children, presenting themselves as persons of the opposite gender, etc.) which they would never do in the real world.

This study sought to determine the self-esteem, self-concept, social behavior, and the motivational factors of the cybersex users (mothers) which would serve as a determining agent with end view of proposing a program for self-reporting Internet or cybersex user.

The researcher utilized the qualitative research method. Its goal was to understand the behavior of the self-reporting internet or cybersex users, to elucidate the fact or situation that is observed to exist from their frame of mind, and to understand the meaning of people from their venture.

FINDINGS

Based on the data gathered, the researcher has come up with the following findings:

The profile of the selected Mothers online: The three respondents are from different locations. They were all Roman Catholic. Their highest educational attainment was high school level. Most of them came from a dysfunctional, unhappy type of family. They all dreamed of having a meaningful and better relationship in the future. The respondents were all having financial problems. That is the reason they entered the realm of cybersex. Most of the respondents began their complicity through a common friend who convinced them to come into cybersex.

PROPOSED ALTERNATIVE LIVELIHOOD PROGRAM

The Alternative Livelihood Program is a more effective way on helping the respondents have other options and find sources of income. They will be given workshops and seminars in order for them to realize and understand the importance of having a decent job and to overcome those past experiences that pushed the subjects to engage in self-reporting internet.

The proposed Alternative Livelihood Program provides the participants with an outlet to choose whether to stay in their profession or to find other ways and means for earning money.

The proposed program is composed of 3 modules involving seminars, training, and workshops. The first module consists of seminars and training. The second module includes the workshops and the activities. The third module consists of a seminar. Each module is good for one day.

                              The Alternative Livelihood Program
                              Module 1: Seminar on Self-Realization
                              Module 2: Workshops (Work of Our Hands)
                              Module 3: Family Therapy

CONCLUSIONS

The main sources that led the mothers to practice cybersex were their unhealthy childhood experiences, peer pressure, lack of parental guidance, family disintegration, poverty, lack of proper education, and lack of moral or spiritual guidance.

Taking aside the negativity of the act, there were bearable reasons for the respondents to commit such an act such as survival and security, which are highly-coveted in this fast-paced and seemingly cruel world.

Amidst the immoral condition the respondents are involved in, they still desired a job, one that is upright and sufficient so they can decently provide for the needs of their family.

RECOMMENDATIONS

  1. The selected mothers who engage in cybersex should undergo the proposed program for them to assess their present job and consider better alternatives to it.
  2. A government agency should pay attention on this pressing issue and do some extensive measures that would lessen, if not wipe out, the number of cybersex practitioners.

HOMO FATHER FIGURE

Friday, September 7, 2012 Category : , , , 0

SUMMARY

The typical setting of a family consists of a father, a mother and children. Ideally, the family provides its members with protection, companionship, security, and socialization. The child’s growth and development would always depend on the nurturing skills of the parents or on the persons significant to the child and the kind of environment a child has. This study is designed especially for those children who have lived with their gay father since their birth; a father who has become their model in shaping their own personality. The researchers explored these children’s experiences in having this kind of family set-up, with special attention to the growth and developmental factors of these children, specifically their moral, social, emotional, and sexual aspects.

This study aimed to explore the social and emotional functioning and the sexual development of children which are constructed from the parenting style of their gay fathers. This study further attempted to generate a model on learned behaviors.

The research design assimilated the input, the processes, and the output of the study. The input consisted of the related theories with the interrelated variables of the study. This study used the participant observation technique, by way of qualitative and quantitative data analysis. Conclusions and generalizations then followed. After having all the data processed, an output was made: the proposed model on learned behaviors.

FINDINGS

The researchers state the following findings:
  1. Parenting style received by the subject from the homosexual father. The three respondents have more or less received the same kind of reinforcement from their father. They were told to behave appropriately according to their gender preference.
  2. Social and Emotional functioning of the child. The researchers observed that the respondents considered their father as a friend whom they can share their concerns about school and even the most personal matters. Because of this the subjects’ self-esteem was not affected by their situation. The respondents were able to make friends at school and in the neighborhood.
  3. Factors that affect the sexual development of the subject. In the context of sexual identity or preference and the gender role of the respondents, the researchers have noted that both female respondents, the researchers have noted that both female respondents have a typical preference for a romantic partner, which the opposite sex and they claimed to be comfortable about it.
However, the role that the male subject portrayed was those that he learned from his father, since his father is also homosexual. His father became his immediate model of his own behavior.

PROPOSED MODEL ON LEARNED BEHAVIOR

The proposed model of this study is mainly taken from the theory of Albert Bandura’s Theory of Social Cognitive Learning. It emphasizes the importance of observing and modeling the behaviors, attitudes, and emotional reactions of others.

Model’s Behavior – In this model the researchers specifically determined the parent as their behavior model. From the days of Freud, the foundation of psychological work has been based on the theory that parents are a major influence on children and that they significantly contribute to the psychological characteristics that children acquire as adults (Sharma, 1996).

Child’s Behavior – Observation also includes paying attention. Paying attention would closely relate to the attachment of the child to his parent in a way that children who are close with their parent will most likely adopt their behavior rather than those children who are distant with their parents.

Imitation – This act of imitation will most likely happen if the seen action was followed by reinforcement. Children to some extent do the imitation from their parent’s behavior.

Parent’s Reward and Punishment Style – The parents, being the child’s immediate supervisor and regulator of their child’s behavior, are the ones who have the full force of giving reward and punishment to their child.

Accepted Behavior and Rejected Behavior – From the parenting style the child receives from his parents, a child can perceive for himself what behavior is more likely pleasing to their parents. Accepted behaviors of a child are those behaviors that they have observed and learned from their parents and that are being followed by reward or praises. On the other hand, the rejected behaviors are those behaviors, which, after being observed and imitated, are followed with unapproved response from the child’s parents.


Proposed Model on Learned Behavior

CONCLUSIONS

After thorough observation and assessment, the researchers concluded that there are many factors that influenced the child as he grew up. These factors are being possessed by the father being the child’s role model.

The child’s future self relied in his father’s hands. The parenting style given and the morality assessment instilled to the child’s mind by the gay father were carried through by the child in his social and emotional functioning in his environment. This personality molded by the father to his child will still be the same personality the child will posses. As the child’s model, parents have the biggest force as to what behaviors are acceptable and unacceptable to his environment.

RECOMMENDATIONS

Based on the findings of the study, the following are recommended:

  1. That the children of gay fathers continually retain their self-esteem and not be ashamed on their situation.
  2. That the gay fathers be a good and responsible parent to their children and believe in their own capacity of handling a very vital responsibility.
Further Recommendations:
  1. The researchers wish to recommend to the future researchers a more comparative study between male and female children of gay fathers.
  2. The researchers recommend that future researchers try a different research methodology.