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THE COMING OUT

Posted on Friday, August 31, 2012 | No Comments


SUMMARY

Are you a man or a woman? A woman whose emotional, romantic, and sexual energies are geared towards other women is labeled as lesbian. Although many people do not think of being a lesbian as negative, the unfortunate reality is that some people in society perceive this population as troublesome. Adolescents who present themselves to the world as lesbian open themselves to criticism and rejection by family, friends, and loved ones. Keeping one’s homosexuality can also lead to mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.

This study aimed to investigate the factors that contributed to the coming out of the lesbian adolescents with the end view of proposing guidelines on coming out.

Several theories served as scientific basis for the researcher in handling the topic. The researcher also set factors in which she believed that may greatly affect the subject and these factors served as guides in gathering data. The researcher believes that social orientation and upbringing plays a great role in gender transformation and that coming out is the most crucial stage that a homosexual should undergo. The qualitative method is mainly used.

FINDINGS

The findings of the study are hereby presented based on the variables explored in the problem:


  1. The respondents’ attitudes differed with each other. The first subject was a happy-go-lucky person while the second was quite spoiled and childish.
  2. Both of the subjects were currently I third year high school but studied in different schools. Of the two subjects, the first one belonged to a lower class while the second one belonged to the middle class.
  3. Both subjects came from an intact family. The first one was so attached to his father but that attachment changed when her father worked abroad. The second one was so attached to all members of the family because she was the youngest and only girl of the family.
  4. The two subjects were both Roman Catholic but they differed in the extent to which they practiced their faith. The first subject regularly prayed and observed religious practices but did not attend mass often. And the second one was compiling the sacraments that are taught by the Catholic Church.
  5. The immediate model for the first subject was her father and the immediate models for the second subject were her brothers, aunts, and cousins.
  6. Both of the subjects shared the same experiences in revealing their true identity. At first, their family was shocked but later on they were accepted.

PROPOSED GUIDELINES ON COMING OUT

The researcher proposed guidelines on coming out. Parents of lesbian children may gain deeper insight into their child’s homosexuality by understanding the five developmental stages of coming out. Some may get locked into one stage and never progress. Even at the identity integration stage, coming out is a continuing process. But there are developmental tasks inherent in each stage which needs to be completed some time, in order ultimately to become fully self-actualizing and integrated. Here are the stages:


  1. Pre-Coming OutSome studies have found that core gender and sex-role identities are formed by age 3, thus sexual object choice is part of gender identity. If that is true, then homosexuality is determined primarily during late infancy and early childhood, and may be identified at a pre-conscious level, or even a conscious level.
  2. Coming OutIndividuals move into this stage when they acknowledge their homosexual feeling, which is the first developmental task of this stage. That may mean simply acknowledging a confusing homosexual thought or fantasy, without fully understanding or labeling what it means. Some studies indicate the median age for this experience is from 13 to 18.
  3. ExplorationThis stage of experimenting with a new sexual identity is similar to the heterosexual adolescent’s first major experience of sexual activity with others. However, most individuals with same-sex preference do not experience adolescence in their teenage years. There is a developmental gap in their sexual adolescence, which can be confusing or even frightening to persons who have otherwise matured intellectually, vocationally and financially.
  4. First RelationshipAfter a period of sexual and social experimentation, exploration can lose its intrigue, and needs for intimacy and a stable, committed relationship then become important.
  5. IntegrationThis is an open-ended, ongoing process that will last the rest of one’s life. Such an integrated identity usually takes from 10 to 14 years after the first awareness of same-sex feelings. New feelings will emerge; new relationships will be enjoyed. This stage is characterized by non-possessiveness, mutual trust, freedom, and greater success.

CONCLUSIONS

The absence of the father is one great factor of being a lesbian. The relationship that you both established with each other and some of the things that you do together. As a child, Parent-Child Interaction model was proved to be true as parental attitudes determine a person’s sexual orientation away from people or towards people.

Having low self-esteem will hinder the subjects to come out. While having satisfactory self-presentation and strong self-concept had contributed in acknowledging the beauty and accepting the risk of coming out.

As the subjects passed through the coming out phase, they began to feel the burden. Having wanted to be free from it they started generating in them fruits of peace and responsibility and try to think the positive side of it.

RECOMMENDATIONS

Based on the findings of the study, the following are recommended:


  1. It is recommended that these guidelines be reviewed by professionals and other lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual (LGBT) supportive groups to determine their applicability.
  2. After verifying these guidelines, it is recommended that they be made available to teenagers who might be confused about their gender orientation. This can be done through pamphlets and information drives or seminars by guidance centers, special interest groups, and the like.
  3. It is recommended that a mini-workshop be designed based on the guidelines for the benefit of closet lesbian teenagers.
  4. It is recommended that further studies be conducted with lesbians from different age groups, socioeconomic classes, and educational backgrounds to come up with enriched guidelines tailored for each group.

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